mikeijay Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 (edited) My fiancée came home today to find this heartfelt message from the 'Children of Balham' written on my car!😡 Now before people assume I'm a reckless driver - just one slight problem, I'm 5,500 miles away and have been for the past two weeks! So unless my car's ECU has been remapped by Knight Industries and its driving around London by itself - I think that sanctimonious so-and-so is 'lifting a Frunk looking for a bloody Engine'! I'm beginning to detest the part of London where I live. They call it 'Nappy Valley' because it's full of stuck-up helicopter-parents all pushing the same ridiculously expensive prams who think they are Gods gift to earth because they have pushed out a couple of kids who all seem to be called 'Brantley' and 'Daisy'. Grinds my gears! 🤬 Edited April 12, 2019 by mikeijay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PMGPete Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 (edited) You should get a sticker made up like they put on war planes to record their kills except little children instead of enemies, that should send the message to the parents 😂 Edited April 12, 2019 by PMGPete 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Buggyjam Posted April 12, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted April 12, 2019 (edited) Nice one Pete. Could write a note back.. “pleasey weasey do a cutesy wootsy little fxxxx off so I can be safe from stalker adults pretending to be children who post me creepy ass horror film letters complete with sinister pictures of stick children” ”the Children of Balham” does actually sound like a horror film to be fair. Join mumsnet, stick your post on then retreat Edited April 12, 2019 by Buggyjam 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craiglm68 Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 Children of the Corn (horror movie)...Children of the Balham....degrees of separation? And what about little Tarquin, Tristin, Crispin, Quinten and Jemimah?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 Sounds like you need to move. You wouldn't get anything like that in South Wales! I'm often heralded to rev the engine (of course I don't oblige, because I'm a snob in a Porsche). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlosRich Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Wouldn't take it too personally, looks like a flyer they have been putting on any decent car. Is strange how people react to Porsche's though. Random cars flying past you at huge speed to prove they are faster than you, or they have passed a Porsche! Idiots at work, who know nothing about cars questioning why you bought it, when they drive very mundane cars.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Budflicker Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Was it hand written or a print? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 1 hour ago, Budflicker said: Was it hand written or a print? Looks like pencil? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andy Posted April 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted April 16, 2019 Okay, here's what I think you should do..... When you are next home, buy a maniquine and dress it's arm and a leg, then have them sticking out of the front bumper..... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeijay Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 (edited) Just got back home and inspected the letter... it was written in pencil but a very fancy one (like one an illustrator would use) as it was ever so metallic. It was a folded piece of A4 paper and on the other side the person had started writing on the note with ‘Dear...’ then crossed crossed it out and decided to go with ‘Hello’ 😂 I really need to move! Recently - I was right outside my house a inspecting my car after a super-long drive back from Llundudno and noticed a woman on the other side of the road had stopped and was watching me with a sour face. When I turned to ask if she was ok - she said “I just making sure your not trying to steal it!!” 🤬 Edited April 16, 2019 by mikeijay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buggyjam Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 13 hours ago, Michael Anderson said: Just got back home and inspected the letter... it was written in pencil but a very fancy one (like one an illustrator would use) as it was ever so metallic. It was a folded piece of A4 paper and on the other side the person had started writing on the note with ‘Dear...’ then crossed crossed it out and decided to go with ‘Hello’ 😂 I really need to move! Recently - I was right outside my house a inspecting my car after a super-long drive back from Llundudno and noticed a woman on the other side of the road had stopped and was watching me with a sour face. When I turned to ask if she was ok - she said “I just making sure your not trying to steal it!!” 🤬 Ha! Crossings out and art pencils... Some thought and artistic effort clearly has gone into your telling off . I wouldn’t have been more surprised if it was written on art paper packaged in a crafty envelope adorned with twigs and berries and splats of farrow and ball paint. mind you to be fair at least you have a fierce old woman watching out for your machine. Every cloud you know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeijay Posted April 18, 2019 Author Share Posted April 18, 2019 17 hours ago, Buggyjam said: mind you to be fair at least you have a fierce old woman watching out for your machine. Every cloud you know... Haha well.... you would think but when I was travelling I get sent this photo from my partner who had got back from being away herself to find all my car unlocked, doors and every compartment wide open and ransacked! It had been left in that state for at least 2 days and not a single neighbour or passerby was kind enough to just close my doors! There’s never a busybody around when you actually need one 😂 Got a tracker with a motion sensor when I got back which texts me if anyone touches my car. It goes off for as much as a parking ticket on the windscreen but strangely it did not trigger my new Pen-pal?🤔 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buggyjam Posted April 18, 2019 Share Posted April 18, 2019 4 hours ago, Michael Anderson said: Haha well.... you would think but when I was travelling I get sent this photo from my partner who had got back from being away herself to find all my car unlocked, doors and every compartment wide open and ransacked! It had been left in that state for at least 2 days and not a single neighbour or passerby was kind enough to just close my doors! strangely it did not trigger my new Pen-pal?🤔 Sorry to hear that. Sounds like they’re signed up to neighbourhood selective watch, only watch and poke your nose in with innocent people. That’s the problem with curtain twitchers, finger waggers and nimbys, their modus operandi is them and the world that orbits their dramas, it’s “me, me me me”. So if it’s not affecting them they won’t even glance. shouldve told that granny “hey, people in glass houses and throwing stones etc - naff all use you were when I was actually burgled” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windymiller Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 On 18/04/2019 at 04:42, Michael Anderson said: Haha well.... you would think but when I was travelling I get sent this photo from my partner who had got back from being away herself to find all my car unlocked, doors and every compartment wide open and ransacked! It had been left in that state for at least 2 days and not a single neighbour or passerby was kind enough to just close my doors! There’s never a busybody around when you actually need one 😂 Got a tracker with a motion sensor when I got back which texts me if anyone touches my car. It goes off for as much as a parking ticket on the windscreen but strangely it did not trigger my new Pen-pal?🤔 That’s 5h1te Michael, gutted for you. 😦 How did they actually unlock it and get in? was there damage to the locks / car? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeijay Posted April 19, 2019 Author Share Posted April 19, 2019 7 hours ago, Windymiller said: That’s 5h1te Michael, gutted for you. 😦 How did they actually unlock it and get in? was there damage to the locks / car? This is the oddest thing, I couldn't work out how they did it. I leave my key in a draw far away from the front of the house to stop any remote scanners but my girlfriend also sent me a photo of a strange chip on the door handle that was never there before. It made me think back to when I locked myself out of my E39 years ago by leaving the key in the boot before I closed it. The AA man checked a database and found the solution to unlock my car. He said I should really look away while he did the solution but let me watch as I must have an honest face haha He put a wedge between the back of the boot and the C Pillar to expose a cable. He then shorted that cable and all my doors/boot unlocked with no alarm!! I do wonder if the chip was a result of something they used to access a cable behind the door handle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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